desperate times call for desperate measures
by lllemon
Summary: Louis Weasley doesn't like girls. Dominique likes to screw with him. - Mentions of Louis/Scorpius, rated T for paranoia.


**Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter, blah blah blah, I wish I did.**

**Louis is my favourite nextgen character (I don't even know why) and I didn't think there were enough fics about him- I guess this is the result of that.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Louis hated the summer holidays.<p>

There were lots of reasons for this. He didn't like how hot it was, he didn't like how flies and spiders seem to swarm into his bedroom, and he hated having nothing to focus on for a long period of time. But more than anything he hated his sister's friends.

Every summer, Dominique would bring a group of giggling girly-girl friends of hers back from Beauxbatons Academy. She'd chosen to go there rather than go to Hogwarts like Louis did and even Victoire had. She wanted a fresh start where she wouldn't be 'Harry Potter's niece' or 'Victoire Weasley's sister' and she supposed she got it. Louis was happy for her, but he wished she didn't insist on bringing her stupid friends back at every opportunity.

It was always the same girls; Jasmin, Isabelle, Elle and Desiree. They'd been Dom's friends since first year, and they were still like sisters as they were going into their seventh. Fleur loved having them all round. She'd talk to them in French and beam at them as they talked about Fleur's beloved old school and her old teachers, so she allowed Dom to invite them over at every opportunity. It drove Louis mental. Not only was he an unsociable person _anyway_, Dom's stupid friends were all sort of… obsessed with him. They'd squeal and giggle whenever he was around, and it made his head ache. He supposed it was because of his Veela blood, but it was annoying all the same. And Dom, being Dom, never had the tact to mention one _tiny_ detail to all of her perky girly friends: her brother was gay.

'Why is it important?' she asked with a shrug when he confronted her about actually telling her friends this, on the weekend before they were due to arrive.

'Oh, I don't know,' said Louis, his voice coated with heavy sarcasm. 'Maybe so they won't hit on me all the bloody time?'

Dom had just giggled. _Giggled. _'Oh come on, Louis, you don't _really_ mind, do you? I mean, come on, they're just being appreciative.'

She didn't understand. Sure- maybe it was _kind _of flattering, in a weird way. But they were his _older_ sister's best friends. And it was the wrong kind of attention. It made him feel awkward whenever they tried to flirt with him. It was just embarrassing. Unfortunately, Dom found it hilarious, which was probably the real reason she didn't want to tell her friends. She saw some kind of messed-up humour in watching her brother squirm when her friends sidled up to him, trying to look sexy. She wasn't the only one, either. Louis' boyfriend, Scorpius, also found it side-splittingly hilarious. It wasn't fair. The entire world was against him.

Louis had kind of hoped to escape to Al or Lucy's for the summer, but Fleur wouldn't hear of it. She said that it was way too much to ask Harry or Percy for them to allow a moody teenager to crash on their sofa for a few weeks. Besides, Victoire would barely be home at all this summer. Dom would want some company. Louis wanted to scream at his mother; she's _got_ company, she's got Jasmin and Isabelle and whatever the rest of their names were. It was _him_ who didn't have company. Fleur said that she couldn't handle even more grumpy teenagers in her house. And besides, all his friends were with them in England. Dom's friends had to come over from France. That's what she said anyway- Louis was pretty sure she just didn't trust him to have boys in his bedroom, even if they _were_ straight.

Still, he was hoping to disappear every day. Percy and Audrey both worked long hours even in the summer, so he would probably go to Lucy's anyway, or Al's as Scorpius was always there and the Potter's were so laid back. Or to the Scamander's, maybe- anywhere that wasn't full of shrieking 17-year-old girls who thought they had a chance with him. No doubt they'd try out all their ridiculous flirting techniques again this summer, like they had been since they were in their third or fourth year. And then if he said _anything_ in reply to them- they'd all collapse into giggles, like he'd said the funniest thing on the planet. It confused him. He was glad that Lucy wasn't like that; he didn't think they could be friends if she was. Then again, it probably helped that she knew he was gay, was his cousin and didn't fancy him. Even the girls at Hogwarts had been better this year. Because Louis wasn't bigheaded, no, he _knew_ that it was just his Veela blood that gave him the pretty-boy look and the somewhat magnetic attraction- but that didn't change that girls liked him. Nearly all of the ones at Hogwarts had given up this year though. At first, some refused to believe he was gay- but they were forced to accept it when he started walking around, hand-in-hand with Scorpius.

The girls were supposed to arrive the following morning, and Louis was dreading it. His Dad had gone to Romania to visit Charlie for a few weeks, so not only would Louis be stuck with Dom's idiotic friends all summer, he'd be the only male in the house for the majority of the time. If he wasn't careful he'd end up being dragged into Dom's room in the middle of the night to join in with manicures. He winced, thinking about their arrival. He'd always been awful with girls. The ones in his family were alright, they didn't think of him as being hot. To them, he was just _Louis_. One of their cousins, and they knew him for who he really was; a stubborn, awkward, antisocial, moody teenager who just happened to have a nice face and clean hair. He didn't know how to make conversation with the type who'd just giggle at every word. He'd always avoided contact with girls, even when he was in his first few years of Hogwarts, because he knew he'd just end up making an idiot out of himself. Not because _he_ was embarrassed at their presence, but they made him feel uncomfortable when they blushed and giggled. It was always worse than usual with Dom's friends, because although she spoke French fluently, and though Victoire was also pretty much fluent, Louis still struggled with it. He could _speak_ it, but listening to 4 girls stammering away in French always lost him. They'd taken to speaking in only English around him, but they still stuttered with embarrassment and laughter, and that added to their heavy French accents only made it harder to understand them. He wished they'd just leave him alone.

Louis sighed and got into bed. He hoped for a miracle, that Dominique would come to her senses and tell her stupid friends to back off, or that there could be a freak snow storm that would prevent their getting here. Could snow storms prevent apparition? He didn't know, but he hoped so.

* * *

><p>'Louis, wake up,' Dom was shaking him violently when he opened his eyes. Everything was blurry for a few seconds, and he couldn't help being alarmed by his sister's blonde head leaning over him, frowning with irritation.<p>

'Mm?' he mumbled. He was pretty sure it was the holidays, why the hell was he being woken up at… he glanced at his alarm clock, 8:17am. 'What are you doing, Dom?' he growled.

'Get up you lazy twat,' Dom snapped. 'We have guests coming, remember?'

Louis' heart sank. 'So there's no freak snow storm?'

'What are you on about now? You're bloody mental- God knows why Jas and Elle like you so much.'

'They wouldn't if you told them the truth!'

Dom just grinned. 'And where's the fun in that?'

'You're pure evil.'

'And you're boring. Come on, get up, before Mum throws another bitch fit.'

Louis groaned. That was another thing he'd forgotten. Fleur _always_ became incredibly stressed whenever people were coming. She'd spent the past three days turning the house up and down with cleaning. She'd changed all the sheets, she'd ironed the curtains and she'd even scrubbed the kitchen floor, as if any of Dom's friends would actually care. Louis didn't understand why she fussed so much. It was such a huge amount of effort for just a three-day visit.

'Do I have to? Can't you lie for me, Dom? Tell her I'm sick?' he begged.

Dom rolled her eyes. 'Do I have to get Mum up here? Because, you know, that can be arranged- _Mum_, Louis won't get-'

'Alright, alright,' he grumbled. 'You win.'

'Of course I do,' his sister grinned. 'Now get up, shower… I don't know- just make yourself look pretty, okay?'

She left, and Louis pulled himself out of bed. He had a quick shower, and then he combed his untidy blonde hair and pulled on clothes. Old clothes- Dom wouldn't approve, she'd say he was doing it deliberately just to spite her, but maybe apart of him was. He wasn't going to lead on Dom's friends just for kicks.

'Louis!' Fleur called. Louis sighed, there was a fretful urgency and a sort of anxiousness in her voice, and he knew that she was on the verge of having a melt-down over the stress of it all. Why did his mother have to be so neurotic?

'I'm coming,' he said, aware that she couldn't actually hear him. He took his time to go downstairs, hoping that a miracle was hiding in the hallway to save him. Maybe a Hippogriff, like the one Uncle Harry used to tell him about, Buckbeak, would swoop out of nowhere and he'd jump on its feathered back and they'd sore into the sky away from-

'Louis!' Dom was starting to sound snappy. He figured he'd better hurry up, so cancelling out all daydreams of Hippogriffs and great escapes he headed to the front door. It was another fifteen minutes before they actually arrived. Fifteen minutes of aimlessly standing, staring at a door and waiting. Every time Louis tried to slip away, Fleur would yell and Dom would snap and Louis thought they were being _way_ too over the top, because really, it was just a few of Dom's school friends, but no- they had to turn it into a big bloody deal and make themselves come across as the most perfect family.

'We 'ave to make an extra good impression today, as your Dad is not 'ere,' Fleur told them anxiously. 'We don't want 'zem to think 'zat you two come from a broken 'ome.'

Louis managed to hold his tongue and not tell them how stupid and pathetic they were being. They were expecting visits from seventeen year old girls, not Home Owner's Weekly.

When Dom's friends _finally_ arrived, half an hour late, Louis had planned to escape to his bedroom and avoid them all, but no. He had to stand awkwardly as Dom hugged them all, and they all shrieked about how much they'd missed each other. It's been two weeks since they last saw each other, he thought, astonished, surely they can't miss each other _that_ badly?

And then they turned to him, and immediately sprang into a fit of giggles. Jasmin approached him first, twirling her long dark hair around her fingers with a stupid smile plastered on her face.

'Hey, Louis,' she giggled. 'Wow, you look different, have you had a hair cut? It suits you. It brings out the grey in your eyes!'

'Hi, Jasmin,' Louis said dryly. Fleur glared at him. He cleared his throat. 'Um, no I haven't, but thank you. I like your um, eyes, too.' She beamed at him, looking as if all her Christmases had come at once. He didn't mention to her that his eyes were blue. He thought Dom might crucify him if he did.

And then suddenly they were _all_ in his face.

'Hi Louis!' Elle and Desiree chorused, both pink in the face.

'You look great, Louis,' Isabelle told him shyly. Louis gave them all awkward smiles, before shooting a glare in Dom's direction. She smirked at him, knowing how uncomfortable he must feel, and she found it hilarious.

'Thanks, Elle, um, you too,' he said vaguely.

'Um, I'm Isabelle,' she giggled. 'But that's okay. You were close.'

'Oh, sorry, um, Mum, can I go out?' he shot Fleur a desperate look.

She shook her head. 'No, Louis, you will 'elp to welcome our guests.'

'But they're not _my_ guests,' he muttered under his breath. 'I don't see what I have to do with them.'

* * *

><p>'Hi Louis,' Louis looked up to find Jasmin perching beside me. Inwardly he groaned, what did she want? He thought they were all going to be in Dom's room for- oh, at least six or seven hours, so he was reading a book in the kitchen, minding his own business. Fleur had warned him that if he disappeared into his room all day he'd be in trouble and that trouble would involve confiscation of his muggle CD player, all of his muggle metal band CDs and freedom to go out once they'd left- obviously leaving him no choice but to comply.<p>

'Um, hello Jasmin,' he said, hoping he sounded polite rather than irritated that she'd interrupted him at a crucial moment in his book. But whatever, he'd be nice.

'Could you tell me where 'ze bathroom is?' she asked, twirling a strand of hair around her finger, the way they always did. Why did they do that anyway? Did they think it looked cute? And why didn't she ask_ Dom_ where the bathroom was- since, you know, she was Dom's guest. And then he twigged it. This was just a bluff, an excuse to talk to him. Lucy had warned him that this might happen when they discussed his survival methods a few weeks ago.

'Uh, once you leave here it's on your right,' Louis shrugged.

Jasmin put on an innocent, clueless expression. Louis was sure she _did_ know where the bathroom was, but mentioning this would probably cause a life-sentence in Azkaban by Fleur's judgement.

'I'm sorry,' she started. 'But I don't think I know where you are referring too? Could you show me?'

Yeah, Louis thought, _definitely_ a bluff.

'I guess so,' he sighed. He hadn't meant to sigh, but whatever, that couldn't be helped. Surely Dom or Fleur couldn't flip out at him for breathing in the wrong place at the wrong time.

'Oh, thank you!' she grinned, grabbing his arm and pulling him upwards. She took his hand and led him out into the hall, caressing his fingers slightly as she let go. Damn, this girl wasn't wasting any time.

'See?' Louis said, pointing to his right. 'It's just there.'

'Thank you, Louis,' Jasmin smiled, tossing her hair and giggling. ''Zat was very kind of you,' she edged past him to get to the door, very obviously brushing her shoulder against his as she did so. Louis wasn't sure what they taught at Beauxbaton's exactly, but he was pretty sure they didn't give any kind of lesson on subtlety.

They didn't give up. Not just Jasmin, who was about as subtle as the Dark Mark, but all of them. They shamelessly continued to try and flirt with him, and he tried to be polite and friendly, yet still find some way of breaking it to them that he wasn't interested but nothing worked. They seemed to take his kind rejections as 'playing hard to get' and only tried harder to win him over. The amount of girls he got wondering into his room or into the kitchen when he just _happened_ to be sat in there, asking for toilet directions or asking where the bloody pumpkin juice was kept was ridiculous. And they all acted so amazed when he'd direct them to whatever they wanted, as if he was some kind of hero- as if he'd just killed a Manticore with his bare hands or cast a patronus charm strong enough to repel a thousand dementors, when really he'd just raised a distracted hand and said 'over there' vaguely. And then they toss their hair and bat their eyelashes the same way that Jasmin did before and he's figured that it's just their _thing_, and they think that it's going to make him think they're all so sensual and sexy when really they're giving him a headache.

That evening, Dom approached him. It was late, and Louis was just getting a glass of water before he retired to his bedroom, hopefully not be bothered until morning, when he turned around to face his sister. She had that smirk plastered on her face- the one that always tells Louis to fear the worst. His sister is pure evil, he's sure.

'What do you want?' he snapped, because he's tired and he's annoyed and okay, he doesn't like summer anyway but at the very least he'd like to relax without being bugged every 33 seconds.

'Well, you're not in a good mood,' Dom laughed.

'Wow, you think?'

'Alright, calm down. I just wanted to pass on a message.'

Louis groaned. 'What is it? I don't like the sound of this.'

Dom smirked again. 'You should feel honoured, really.'

'Just get it over with.'

'The girls say you're welcome to flirt back with them,' she said, her eyes mocking him. 'Or, you know, kiss them. Or anything else,' she giggled. 'They _really_ like you, Louis.'

'That's nice.'

'You do realize how many guys would kill to have that kind of attention, right?'

'The difference is though, Dom, they're actually interested in girls.'

'Drama queen.'

'Bitch.'

Dom grinned. 'Well, I just thought you should know. They're all expecting you to make a move soon, you know.'

'Can't you just tell them I like guys?'

'They won't believe it, they like you too much. They'd think it was a joke,' she paused. 'And anyway, this is way too funny to stop now.'

'I hate you.'

'I know.'

* * *

><p>'I feel like I'm shut up in Azkaban,' Louis whined. He was crouched in the cupboard in the hall, clutching a muggle telephone contraption talking to Lucy about how his mum and sister were forcing him to stay in and socialize with guests who, not only weren't his, but kept staring at him in a terrifying way which gave him the impression that he was about to be eaten alive.<p>

Lucy, of course, was horrified. 'And they won't let you out at all?'

'Nope,' he groaned. 'Mum says I have to make the girls welcome- they have fuck all to do with me! And they keep on doing this thing- they giggle and toss their hair and bat their eyelashes, and I don't understand!'

'Oh,' said Lucy. 'Don't worry, it's not some kind of African voodoo to make you straight or anything, it's just them flirting.'

'Yeah, I did _kind_ of get that,' Louis replied irritably. 'But why won't they leave me alone. Lucy? How much more obvious do I need to be? I'm not interested in them!'

'You could tell them you're gay,' she offered. 'That could help.'

'That would go well,' he groaned. 'They probably wouldn't listen anyway, Dom says they won't.'

'Well,' he could hear the grin in Lucy's voice. 'If you don't want to _tell_ them you're gay, why don't you _show_ them?'

Louis paused. 'Go on,' he said.

* * *

><p>'I can't believe you want to do this,' Scorpius said.<p>

'I'm at a point of desperation!' Louis protested. 'And desperate times call for desperate measures.'

'Does Dominique know what you're planning?'

'Of course not,' Louis scoffed. 'She put me in an awkward position; I think she deserves the same feeling.'

'Mate, I don't think it's going to be _quite_ the same feeling,' Al said with a smirk. 'But you know, go ahead.'

Louis shrugged. 'If it'll get those girls off my back, then I'm willing to give it a try.'

'Oh, don't worry,' Lucy laughed. 'I'm _sure_ it's going to get them to, um, back off a little.'

* * *

><p>The next day, Louis was going to put his plan into operation. Maybe this would be it. Maybe he wouldn't have to deal with Dom's friends pawing over him anymore. He imagined what it would be like to have them completely ignore him out of embarrassment, and felt the closest to heaven that he'd ever been.<p>

Fleur was out, so it was the perfect opportunity, really. As far as he knew, Dom and her friends were all staying in. And he predicted that they'd somehow _forget_ where the bathroom was again, or they'd need help peeling a Satsuma or something equally pathetic.

Scorpius got there around one. Louis opened the door and greeted him by quickly pecking him on the mouth. Unfortunately they were all still holed up in Dom's room, so they didn't see. Damn. The sooner it was all over, the better.

They went to the kitchen for a little bit and just sat, Louis wanted the girls to meet Scorpius naturally, and he didn't have to wait long for them to come downstairs (giggling, of course) and look surprised at the blonde haired, grey-eyed stranger sat at the table. They were taken aback by his presence at first, but then Isabelle whispered something in French to Desiree and they all started giggling, their cheeks growing red rapidly.

'Hi,' Scorpius said, smiling at them. They stuttered barely coherent replies, all blushing furiously. 'Um, did I say something?'

'N-No,' Jasmin said, beaming at him. Louis smirked.

'Girls, this is Scorpius,' he said. And then Dom walked in. She gaped at Scorpius, who smiled pleasantly in return.

'Good afternoon, Dom,' he said, in an uncharacteristically charming voice.

'Hi, Scorp,' she replied, almost frostily. 'Louis, I need to speak to you for a minute.'

'Later Dom,' Louis said, just to infuriate his sister. 'Can't you see I'm in the middle of-'

'Now!' Dom growled, grabbing her brother's arm and pulling him outside.

'What's he doing here?' she hissed.

'He's my boyfriend, Dom, remember?' Louis said, coolly.

'Of course I remember. But why is he _here_? Like, right now?'

'I asked him to come over.'

'Why?'

'I wanted to see him, dipshit.'

Dom glared at him. 'What are you planning?'

'Nothing,' he replied, expression innocent.

'Louis, they like you!' she sighed.

'So it probably would have been helpful to let them know I don't like girls a while ago, yeah?'

'Don't turn this around. What are you going to do?'

'Nothing, we're just going to hang out.'

'I don't believe you.'

Louis shrugged. 'Cool. Can I get back to Scorpius now, then?'

'I still think you're planning to humiliate me in one way or another.'

'Honestly Dom, when did you get so paranoid?'

* * *

><p>Louis and Scorpius were sat in the front room, just talking. There was a vague TV show blearing in the background, but they weren't really aware of it. That was something Louis loved about Scorpius. He could just sit and talk to him for hours. Conversation came easily to them, and there was never an awkward silence or an uncomfortable feeling of tension. It was always totally relaxed.<p>

'Do you think this'll work then?' Scorpius asked.

Louis smirked. 'There's only one way to find out.'

'I don't blame you. I saw the way they looked at you. Year after year, it must get pretty annoying, right?'

'Yeah, it does,' he admitted. 'Especially when Mum's making me be Prince Charming and all- I think she hopes they'll cure me of my gay ways and make me want to marry one of them.'

'Ouch.'

'Yeah, it'd be okay if they weren't so…'

'Creepy?'

'That's the one.'

Louis grinned. 'Anyway, hopefully they'll give up, soon enough. Lucy thinks they will.'

'Since when has Lucy been an expert on girls?' asked Scorpius sceptically.

'Well, as she is one, so I'm taking her word for it.'

'That's true I suppose. Being around these girls makes me forget that there are other girls out there, who are-'

'Sane?'

'No, but-'

'Subtle?'

'Okay, both. What's the plan, again?'

'When you hear Jasmin or whoever approaching, kiss me,' Louis paused. 'Or you could do it now- that works too.'

Scorpius laughed and leaned forward, his lips meeting with Louis'. They stayed in that position for a while; just kissing in a way they hadn't for a while. And then he pulled away, suddenly listening sharply.

'I think someone's coming downstairs,' he said.

Louis shrugged. 'That's cool. Unless it's my mum. Then it's not so much cool as awkward.' But as he knew Fleur wouldn't be home for another few hours, he lent forward again until he was softly kissing Scorpius again. And he was right. The door swung open, but they didn't pull apart. Not very quickly, anyway- not quickly enough to avoid being spotted by Jasmin and Isabelle; but that was the plan.

'Oh,' Isabelle squeaked.

'Um,' Jasmin mumbled.

'Hey girls,' said Louis, smiling pleasantly as if oblivious to the entire situation. 'Is something wrong?'

'N-No,' Jasmin shook her head. 'Um, just…'

'Surprised,' Isabelle said.

'Yeah, surprised-'

'And stuff.'

'Um, we'll leave you two alone.'

'Thanks, girls,' said Scorpius. Louis reached over and took his hand, grinning as the two girls stumbled out of the room.

'Do you think they got the message?' he asked.

'I think they did.'

* * *

><p>Scorpius and Louis crept upstairs, making sure not to step on any cracks or let the stairs creak below them. They tiptoed across the hall until they were right outside Dominique's bedroom and for the first time in his life, Louis was happy that the walls were so thin and that sound echoed so much.<p>

'What's wrong?' asked Dom from inside.

'L-Louis,' Isabelle stuttered.

'What about him?' said Elle.

'He's gay!' Jasmin blurted out. 'Why didn't you tell us he was gay?'

Louis imagined Dom's face. Probably a mixture of horror and faked confusion, and he had to bite his lip so as not to snigger.

'H-He's gay?' Dom bluffed.

'He was just kissing that guy-'

'That Scorpius one-'

'I _told_ you!' said Desiree. 'Guys that good looking are _always_ gay- it's so typical!'

'Didn't you know?' Jasmin asked, obviously directing her question at Dom.

'Of course I didn't!' Dom lied.

'I feel like such an idiot!'

'I'm so glad we're going home tomorrow.'

'If you tell _anyone_ about this-'

* * *

><p>Louis was crouched in the cupboard in the hall again, clutching the muggle phone and laughing.<p>

'Your plan worked, Luce,' he said. 'I think they've _finally_ got the message.'


End file.
